When the world is spinning too fast and I can’t seem to catch my breath, I come here. It is my place. I’ve found sanity, solace and sensibility here. I have bawled, released shrieks of excitement, cries of pain and grappled with life’s unfairness here. This is the place where I let it all go. It’s my place.
On this December day in New York, the air is frigid and the sand too cold for me to sink my toes into it. The tide is on the ebb. I think to myself, “That makes sense.” I inhale so deeply that as the cold air travels into the base of my lungs, it almost hurts. It’s the good kind of pain. Because I CAN take that deep breath. I know experientially there have been moments when I could barely inhale.
Over the past few years I have made many of these walks. Most were filled with sadness, anger over life’s circumstance and wanting for glimmers of hope. But today is different. This is the first time, in the longest of times, that I am beaming in this place. As I walk the shoreline, I scan my life over the past few years. Everything I have faced, endured and overcome flashes forward. In my heart I am well aware that 2018 was incredibly kind to me. In my mind, this is the year that I rebuilt and reclaimed my life. It might have taken years but as I stand facing a tide that once submerged me but has receded, I wear a face of pride. And with that, I exhale. I am more than just okay and I’m incredibly grateful.
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Kim Libertini is all too familiar with grief and the Co-Founder of Goodgrief App, the social network for loss available for download in the App Store, Google Play and www.goodgriefapp.com. You can follow Goodgrief App on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
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