No Signs From The Afterlife

After my mom died, I thought she would appear in numerous ways and signs. A butterfly hanging about, a warm presence in the room, a vivid dream. I imagined that her essence would feel obvious and overwhelming, an external experience impossible to ignore. That hasn’t been the case. While I’ve seen her in a couple … Continue reading No Signs From The Afterlife

THE TERM SINGLE MOM (OR DAD) SUCKS

The term, “single mom” just won’t suffice anymore. The time has come to place a jauntier hat on our heads and upgrade this worn-out title to “independent mom,” or dad. For the last few years, I’ve called myself a single mom as way of explaining that my marriage dissolved and the bulk of parenting rests … Continue reading THE TERM SINGLE MOM (OR DAD) SUCKS

In Stillness Together, Yet Apart

Go to the trees, says my inner voice. Go to where nature’s calm thrums louder than human anxiety. Sidle up to bark, birds, flowers and water. Align with natural rhythms as a reminder that not everything has changed. This is what I keep hearing. And so that’s where my kids and I have been since … Continue reading In Stillness Together, Yet Apart

Good Grief, This Playlist Rocks!

This Valentines Day we want you to rock out to your beautiful self. Enjoy these songs that move and inspire. You can also listen to the Good Grief, This Playlist Rocks on Spotify. Where is the Love? The Black Eyed PeasMan in the Mirror: Michael JacksonRise Up: Andra DayComing in From the Cold: Bob MarleyShake … Continue reading Good Grief, This Playlist Rocks!

Calling Heaven

I called my dead mother the other day.  It was her birthday and I needed to talk, even though hearing her voice was impossible.  A robotic message explained that, “the call couldn’t be completed as dialed.” Not surprising since her phone line went dead shortly after her passing. But that hasn’t diminished my urge to … Continue reading Calling Heaven

Boundaries

Boundaries are as much about what we keep out as let in. When it comes to grief, we frequently talk about building boundaries to prevent people from being prescriptive about how we grieve, telling us to move on, or threatening our fragile and momentary peace. These limits are important and good mostly as preventative measures … Continue reading Boundaries

Mom Lives in Me

I thought my Mom would hang around me after she died. I thought she would appear thick and tangible like a warm fog. I thought she would exist invisible yet present herself through messages and signs. But so many aspects of my mother’s passing are different than imagined, including how she shows up.  Mostly she … Continue reading Mom Lives in Me

Mother and Father-Out-Law

I’m a word nerd. I love the sound of words and how the varying combinations of consonants and vowels have unique and specific meaning. But sometimes English fails me. I’m left scrounging for a concept or word that doesn’t exist. For example, there’s no word to describe sunlight sparkling on the ocean. There’s no word … Continue reading Mother and Father-Out-Law

A Letter To My Exhausting Children

Dear children, You are exhausting and relentless and I’m eternally grateful for this. Every morning, at least one of you thumps down the hall into my bedroom. You climb in quietly beside me before twisting like a pretzel on spit, your elbows and knees prodding me erratically. Or, you stand next to the bed and … Continue reading A Letter To My Exhausting Children

Chew On This Memory, Mom

On our walk to school this morning, my boys and I crossed paths with a woman smelling of sweet mint. The scent launched me down memory lane. It zoomed past my forties with their dismantling of family and arrival at the unknown. Past the thirties collaged with growing a career and growing babies. It flew … Continue reading Chew On This Memory, Mom