When the world is spinning too fast and I can’t seem to catch my breath, I come here. It is my place. I’ve found sanity, solace and sensibility here. I have bawled, released shrieks of excitement, cries of pain and grappled with life’s unfairness here. This is the place where I let it all go. … Continue reading My Place
The day felt like any other in some ways. It arrived with little fanfare and slipped by with the usual fits and starts. It was my mom’s birthday. A day I’ve marked for much of my life, and this one would have been her 70th. She’s not around to celebrate, as many of you know. … Continue reading Tradition Burns Bright
The holidays are upon us and let’s be honest they are HARD. Songs jingle about the happiest time of year, commercials display large jolly families around the dinner table, and yet, you may not be feeling so happy. It can be hard to find yourself in these Norman Rockwell moments when you’re grappling with grief. … Continue reading The Hard Holidays Are Nigh
Hanging on my office wall is a hand-written proclamation from a dear friend, “As the amount of sh*t increases so must the level of nurturing you need.” It’s a cheeky and brightly illustrated reminder that life is hard. The problems and tasks feel relentless, at times. Holding it all together is exhausting. And, a little … Continue reading Rest Is Best
My mom lifted her shirt and asked me to look at her ribs. I was on the couch. She sat in her wheelchair. “It hurts,” she said, “Can you see anything?” Leaning closer I searched where her fingers pointed. There was a patch of skin tinted the purple of a fading bruise. Skin I’d known … Continue reading Facing the Grim Reaper
Photo credit @huffpost For this week’s lighter note, it’s not exactly where I planned my life at 43. By the time I was ready to start dating, dating apps were apparently the only way to get a date. So, not wanting to be alone, I went with the lotto slogan: "You've got to be in … Continue reading Dating After Loss: Is this really happening?
The rain came and went in a burst, and yet the creek remained high and frothing from the summer downpour. The normally clear water where people tube all summer long had turned brown and churning. Stuck in the middle of the gushing river was a large rock with water swirling around and over its smooth … Continue reading Rough Times Can Make You Smoother
You know that moment when you’re raw and hurting, and someone says, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”? You’ve been there. I’ve been there. Hearing those words that suck the air out of a possibly tender exchange. The thing about grief is most people don’t want to go there. That’s why they’ll say you’re … Continue reading Vulnerability is Strength
~Kim Libertini Loss triggers the rollout of a thick fog of guilt. That fog sits heavily impairing visibility. Depending on the type of loss and the nature of the relationship, guilt varies. I know this because I grappled with guilt with each successive loss. When I lost my father, I was forced to examine … Continue reading Grappling Guilt and Finding Forgiveness
No one wants to get that phone call. My mom had gone to the doctor. They said to bring support. That’s never a good sign. My sister drove her to the appointment and back. Then, they called me with the results: Cancer. It was breast cancer, but it wasn't only in her breasts, it was … Continue reading Cancer Changed Everything
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