~Kim Libertini The holidays roll in and I can feel the density of the air increase. My body desperately wants to recoil. It’s an odd year. In the language of divorce this is how I monitor my level of holiday disengagement. On odd years my ex has the kids. No kids means less holiday hoopla. … Continue reading I Am Proof
~Kim Libertini The road of life is treacherous. The unanticipated twists and turns are difficult to handle. There are so many unpredictable variables that fold into the journey. It is bumpy and can be very unstable. For those of us who have experienced head on collisions on this road, it becomes difficult to put ourselves … Continue reading The Road of Life
~Kim Libertini Huntington Bay feeds directly into the Long Island Sound. I live here. Salty air, beaches, and marinas each add to the beauty of this town. As summer sets in, the waters of Long Island’s north shore are full of life. Boats reflect the vibrant energy of the long summer days and serve as … Continue reading Returning to Life
~Kim Libertini Stunned. There are no other words to describe the moment. I looked in the mirror at the reflection that has been staring back at me for 46 years. How many times had I attributed visual characteristics like my high cheek bones and rounder eyes to Caucasian genes? Adopted at five-months of age, for … Continue reading Grieving the Loss of My Identity
~Kim Libertini I’ve been in a really good place as of late. Five years ago I could never have imagined being as whole as I feel now. Recent conversations in both my personal and professional worlds have caused me to examine my life events. As I dig in and unearth the roots of my past, … Continue reading The Why is in My History
~Kim Libertini I walked into the kitchen as my youngest son, now eleven, was climbing on the counter to reach the upper cabinets. He quickly smiled and said, “What happened to those coconut bowls we had? Have you seen them?” The mention of those bowls take me back to shopping in the Vietnamese market for … Continue reading Souvenirs of the Past
About one hundred years ago (apologies I’ve lost track of time) when I used to cover United Nations environmental negotiations, the director of the reporting group used to give pep talks to prepare the team for the long days ahead full of pressure, inevitable chaos, and unknown outcomes. He reminded us to become the eye … Continue reading Eye of the Storm
~Kim Libertini As I walked, I could feel my clothes swivel around my waist. The pounds had been melting off for weeks now. It my body's reaction to stress. I am tired. Divorce and loss made me recognize the value of "divide and conquer." I can't speak for all divorces; only my own. The contentious … Continue reading The Never Ending Juggle
~Kim Libertini Photo by Nathalie Désirée Mottet on Unsplash The change of season was quick this year. Overnight, I woke to crisp cold air and the smell of fallen leaves. The hours of daylight are decreasing. I feel it. Fall reminds me of home. A small town nestled in the Hudson River Valley of New … Continue reading Triggers of Loss
After my mom died, I thought she would appear in numerous ways and signs. A butterfly hanging about, a warm presence in the room, a vivid dream. I imagined that her essence would feel obvious and overwhelming, an external experience impossible to ignore. That hasn’t been the case. While I’ve seen her in a couple … Continue reading No Signs From The Afterlife
The term, “single mom” just won’t suffice anymore. The time has come to place a jauntier hat on our heads and upgrade this worn-out title to “independent mom,” or dad. For the last few years, I’ve called myself a single mom as way of explaining that my marriage dissolved and the bulk of parenting rests … Continue reading THE TERM SINGLE MOM (OR DAD) SUCKS
Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini Milestones of life are commonly celebrated in increments of five. I am not sure the same can be said for the years after loss. It’s been five years. As I say those words, my nose starts to sting, my eyes well with tears and it feels like my breath … Continue reading The Five Year Mark
~Kim Libertini The sun is just rising above the roofline of my neighbor’s home. I am sitting on my front porch drinking a cup of coffee and listening. There is a stillness paired with a sense of quiet and yet, the feeling is anything but calm. Disconnection triggers fear, anxiety and feels unsettling. The loss … Continue reading Coffee at Sunrise
Go to the trees, says my inner voice. Go to where nature’s calm thrums louder than human anxiety. Sidle up to bark, birds, flowers and water. Align with natural rhythms as a reminder that not everything has changed. This is what I keep hearing. And so that’s where my kids and I have been since … Continue reading In Stillness Together, Yet Apart
Photo by DeMorris Byrd on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini I had just escaped for a few days on a mid-winter getaway. As I sat at the hotel bar on the first evening, I chatted with a couple from Australia. It didn’t take long before our conversation was joined by the bartender and a Connecticut man, as we all exchanged … Continue reading Carrying Grief
This Valentines Day we want you to rock out to your beautiful self. Enjoy these songs that move and inspire. You can also listen to the Good Grief, This Playlist Rocks on Spotify. Where is the Love? The Black Eyed PeasMan in the Mirror: Michael JacksonRise Up: Andra DayComing in From the Cold: Bob MarleyShake … Continue reading Good Grief, This Playlist Rocks!
The moment I set foot in Vung Tau, South Vietnam 7/2015. Photo credit: Adam ~Kim Libertini~ The conversation began like any other. Someone asked, “Do you have any siblings?” I quickly replied,” No, I am adopted. I was brought here to the US during Operation Babylift. My father was an American GI and my mother a … Continue reading This is me. I am.
Today, I’m giving thanks for tiny joys. All too often, it’s the unmistakable joys - the ones that leave us grinning from ear-to-ear - that receive all the fanfare. But not, today. Today, these microscopic pleasures get their moment in the sun and praises sang. Because it’s tiny joys that get us through the day. … Continue reading Tiny Joys
photo credit Photo by Mareko Tamaleaa on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini “What could I have possibly done in this life to deserve this?” That question incessantly echoed inside my head. I was incapable of comprehending how THIS could happen to me and yet I was surrounded by people happily living their lives. It didn’t make sense. For a period … Continue reading I Deserve
Was this last year hard for you? I want to remind you that you've made it this far, and we're going to usher in 2020 together. But before we do, here's a look back on some of our favorite blog posts of the past year. Go Easy on You: You are too hard on yourself. … Continue reading Happy (Hard) Holidays!
Photo courtesy of Dollar Gill, Unsplash Do you remember the part in the book “Peter Pan” where Tinkerbell’s fairy light fades along with her life? She whispers to Peter that she thinks she would get better if children believed in fairies. “Do you believe in fairies?,” Peter asks the kids of Neverland. “Say quick that … Continue reading The Tinkerbell Effect of Believing in Yourself
Boundaries are as much about what we keep out as let in. When it comes to grief, we frequently talk about building boundaries to prevent people from being prescriptive about how we grieve, telling us to move on, or threatening our fragile and momentary peace. These limits are important and good mostly as preventative measures … Continue reading Boundaries
~Kim Libertini I felt like it needed a name. For years I have called it “The Abyss.” Appropriately, the abyss is defined as a bottomless pit. In times when my heart has been shattered and my mind and body are overwhelmed with pain I find myself there. It’s the place I go to when the … Continue reading The Abyss and Back