Boundaries are as much about what we keep out as let in. When it comes to grief, we frequently talk about building boundaries to prevent people from being prescriptive about how we grieve, telling us to move on, or threatening our fragile and momentary peace. These limits are important and good mostly as preventative measures … Continue reading Boundaries
I thought my Mom would hang around me after she died. I thought she would appear thick and tangible like a warm fog. I thought she would exist invisible yet present herself through messages and signs. But so many aspects of my mother’s passing are different than imagined, including how she shows up. Mostly she … Continue reading Mom Lives in Me
“I don’t feel trauma in your body,” said the massage therapist calmly. At the time, I was lying on my back with eyes closed, feeling Kerri’s expert fingers pressing a pressure point on the bottom of my left foot. “Really?” I said. “That’s great!” For the last half an hour Kerri and I had been … Continue reading Shake it Off
My mother is dead. She’s been gone for almost three years now, and yet, I still speak to her. Aloud. My lone voice greets the air with a “Hey, mom,” when her presence feels particularly strong. Or an “I love you,” after her memory springs vivid. Her spirit lives in and around me and so … Continue reading I Talk Aloud to My Dead Mom.
I live in a part of the South where summer break ends as August begins. So last week my kids returned to the classroom and then returned home with a cold. I have it too. It’s not the lay in bed all day kind of cold. More the stuffy head and dripping nose kind. Yesterday, … Continue reading Welcoming Care
This is a grief blog. The pages intended for sharing the hard journey of stitching oneself together anew after things fall apart. However, grief feels distant this morning. My little family (read: the boys and me) is on a summer vacation. We’re staying with friends in a house perched on a bay filled with boats. … Continue reading The Pause
At least once a day a friend, colleague, or stranger asks, “How are you?” My normal response is “fine,” or “good,” or any other terse platitude that fills conversation. Today, because I’m feeling raw and brutally honest, I would say “I’m recovering.” Recovering from my last chapter in life and recovering the next one. The … Continue reading Recovering