Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini I’m sitting in bumper to bumper traffic on the way home from work,”Pick up boys’ suits. Drug store to pick up prescription. Shoe store. Groceries. Lawn fertilizer...crap I forgot the return for Home Depot on the counter. Get gas. Do the boys have practice at 5:45 or 6 tonight?....Ugghh, I … Continue reading #SingleMomLife
~Kim Libertini Before loss, I was familiar with the word strength. After loss, strength took on a new connotation with immeasurable value. In the acute stage of loss, strength was... getting out of bed. showering. getting to work. eating. Between years one and two, strength was ... making a meal for myself, knowing I … Continue reading The Value of Strength
In the days, weeks, and months after my mother passed away, I wore her clothes constantly. Usually, it was an oversize brown cardigan with large plastic buttons and even larger button holes. The shoulders are broad and the bottom hem has stretched so that it hangs longer in the front than back. From an outsider’s … Continue reading Daughter in Mom’s Clothing
Photo by Emerson Lima on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini My glances into the car mirror peered into what seemed like an abyss. The view, marked by a dark, cold, and hollow emptiness, was winter. Colors restricted to grayscale, made the experience feel dismal and reflected a never-ending season length. Just as unbearable set in, on today’s drive a transitional … Continue reading Seasonal Shifts and Grief Transformations
Here’s an unofficial entry for the urban dictionary: BLURSE Definition: Existing as a blessing and curse simultaneously, which could just be another way to describe the human experience. Sentence 1: Grief is a blurse. It helps us appreciate life’s smallest moments because we’ve had large losses. Sentence 2: The blurse of getting older is not … Continue reading Blurse
Vietnamese and Amerasian babies aboard an Operation Babylift plane to Oakland, April 1975. Source: covvha.net ~Kim Libertini Adopted by two American parents, my identity was shaped by the family that raised me. The physical trait differences between my adopted parents and me were glaring but growing up, it didn’t phase me. I remember my parents … Continue reading Searching After Loss
“There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” So go the powerful lyrics from Leonard Cohen’s, “Anthem.” His words are moving. The message, elegant and hopeful. The song helps give purpose to our brokenness and meaning to our pain and scars. However, I believe the opposite is also true … Continue reading Shine On
Photo by Silvan Metzker on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini Like the approach of monsoon clouds, I felt the words move rapidly toward me. Just like a monsoon, I got caught off guard. I’ve been in monsoons before. They rain fiercely, heavily, pack a mean punch and appear to never let up. As I felt the strength of the words … Continue reading Loss Monsoon
Photo by Florian Pérennès on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini I turned the handle,waited and then reached to feel the water temperature. I stepped in. The task itself felt arduous. Before... it was simple and routine. Who would have thought the simple act of showering in the acute stage of loss would be this taxing. As fast as the warm … Continue reading Showers of Tears
Schools across Atlanta closed yesterday in anticipation of “snowpocalypse.” The morning was 40 degrees with a little rain; the afternoon sunny and bright. Our sled stayed in the basement. Not a single flake fell. So my boys and I whittled away the day with friends, books, and time in the park. That’s winter in Georgia … Continue reading Dormant Like a Tree
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