I Am Proof

~Kim Libertini The holidays roll in and I can feel the density of the air increase. My body desperately wants to recoil. It’s an odd year. In the language of divorce this is how I monitor my level of holiday disengagement. On odd years my ex has the kids. No kids means less holiday hoopla. … Continue reading I Am Proof

The Abyss and Back

~Kim Libertini I felt like it needed a name. For years I have called it “The Abyss.” Appropriately, the abyss is defined as a bottomless pit. In times when my heart has been shattered and my mind and body are overwhelmed with pain I find myself there. It’s the place I go to when the … Continue reading The Abyss and Back

Waking Up To Grief

There’s a surreal moment that happens again and again when grieving. It occurs after sleep. Falling asleep is hard enough, and yet waking up feels harder still. That’s when reality comes back into focus. The reality of a life you don’t want. The reality that you’re in free fall. The daunting task of making it … Continue reading Waking Up To Grief

Bittersweetness

Photo by Ashleigh Robertson on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini It is indescribable when everything about the life you know is shattered by death. My mom had taught me that my life would not be defined by the number of times I was knocked down, but rather how and when I chose to stand back up. Back then, when the … Continue reading Bittersweetness

Shine On

“There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” So go the powerful lyrics from Leonard Cohen’s, “Anthem.” His words are moving. The message, elegant and hopeful. The song helps give purpose to our brokenness and meaning to our pain and scars. However, I believe the opposite is also true … Continue reading Shine On

The Yearly Word

  ~Kim Libertini My divorce battle was taking its toll.  I found myself reeling in the process. One morning, a news story centered on a book titled Just One Word ,by Mike Ashcroft and Rachel Olsen,  explained this concept of avoiding new year resolutions which can be easily be broken and then prevent growth. “Choose a … Continue reading The Yearly Word

The Lookback

~Kim Libertini~ It was a casual acknowledgement but one that triggered an epic realization. The woman who said it was only an acquaintance. Walking in a hall, she headed toward me and stopped.  “You look good,” she said. “I don’t know what is different about you, but you really look good.” There it was.  An … Continue reading The Lookback

Grappling Guilt and Finding Forgiveness

~Kim Libertini Loss triggers the rollout of a thick fog of guilt. That fog sits heavily impairing visibility.  Depending on the type of loss and the nature of the relationship, guilt varies. I know this because I grappled with guilt with each successive loss.   When I lost my father, I was forced to examine … Continue reading Grappling Guilt and Finding Forgiveness

Your Loss, Your Way

~Kim Libertini That day, I was at work.  The details of that moment I won’t ever forget.  I had just finished teaching a class. The main office had paged me.  When I arrived, my then husband was standing there. In the midst of the daily school scurry he delivered the news that my father had … Continue reading Your Loss, Your Way

Keeping Time

~Kim Libertini Our life is measured in time from the moment time note’s our birth arrival. I’ve been unfair to time with my expectations of how it should behave constantly oscillating between extremes. Speed up through the work week. Slow down through the weekend. Stop during a moment so I can breathe it in for … Continue reading Keeping Time