Mom Lives in Me

I thought my Mom would hang around me after she died. I thought she would appear thick and tangible like a warm fog. I thought she would exist invisible yet present herself through messages and signs. But so many aspects of my mother’s passing are different than imagined, including how she shows up.  Mostly she … Continue reading Mom Lives in Me

Mother and Father-Out-Law

I’m a word nerd. I love the sound of words and how the varying combinations of consonants and vowels have unique and specific meaning. But sometimes English fails me. I’m left scrounging for a concept or word that doesn’t exist. For example, there’s no word to describe sunlight sparkling on the ocean. There’s no word … Continue reading Mother and Father-Out-Law

Daughter in Mom’s Clothing

In the days, weeks, and months after my mother passed away, I wore her clothes constantly. Usually, it was an oversize brown cardigan with large plastic buttons and even larger button holes. The shoulders are broad and the bottom hem has stretched so that it hangs longer in the front than back. From an outsider’s … Continue reading Daughter in Mom’s Clothing

Blurse

Here’s an unofficial entry for the urban dictionary: BLURSE Definition: Existing as a blessing and curse simultaneously, which could just be another way to describe the human experience. Sentence 1: Grief is a blurse. It helps us appreciate life’s smallest moments because we’ve had large losses. Sentence 2: The blurse of getting older is not … Continue reading Blurse

Shine On

“There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” So go the powerful lyrics from Leonard Cohen’s, “Anthem.” His words are moving. The message, elegant and hopeful. The song helps give purpose to our brokenness and meaning to our pain and scars. However, I believe the opposite is also true … Continue reading Shine On

Grappling Guilt and Finding Forgiveness

~Kim Libertini Loss triggers the rollout of a thick fog of guilt. That fog sits heavily impairing visibility.  Depending on the type of loss and the nature of the relationship, guilt varies. I know this because I grappled with guilt with each successive loss.   When I lost my father, I was forced to examine … Continue reading Grappling Guilt and Finding Forgiveness

Your Loss, Your Way

~Kim Libertini That day, I was at work.  The details of that moment I won’t ever forget.  I had just finished teaching a class. The main office had paged me.  When I arrived, my then husband was standing there. In the midst of the daily school scurry he delivered the news that my father had … Continue reading Your Loss, Your Way