Chew On This Memory, Mom

On our walk to school this morning, my boys and I crossed paths with a woman smelling of sweet mint. The scent launched me down memory lane. It zoomed past my forties with their dismantling of family and arrival at the unknown. Past the thirties collaged with growing a career and growing babies. It flew … Continue reading Chew On This Memory, Mom

The Value of Strength

~Kim Libertini Before loss, I was familiar with the word strength. After loss, strength took on a new connotation with immeasurable value.    In the acute stage of loss, strength was... getting out of bed. showering. getting to work. eating. Between years one and two, strength was ... making a meal for myself, knowing I … Continue reading The Value of Strength

Daughter in Mom’s Clothing

In the days, weeks, and months after my mother passed away, I wore her clothes constantly. Usually, it was an oversize brown cardigan with large plastic buttons and even larger button holes. The shoulders are broad and the bottom hem has stretched so that it hangs longer in the front than back. From an outsider’s … Continue reading Daughter in Mom’s Clothing

Seasonal Shifts and Grief Transformations

Photo by Emerson Lima on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini My glances into the car mirror peered into what seemed like an abyss.  The view, marked by a dark, cold, and hollow emptiness, was winter. Colors restricted to grayscale, made the experience feel dismal and reflected a never-ending season length.  Just as unbearable set in, on today’s drive a transitional … Continue reading Seasonal Shifts and Grief Transformations

Blurse

Here’s an unofficial entry for the urban dictionary: BLURSE Definition: Existing as a blessing and curse simultaneously, which could just be another way to describe the human experience. Sentence 1: Grief is a blurse. It helps us appreciate life’s smallest moments because we’ve had large losses. Sentence 2: The blurse of getting older is not … Continue reading Blurse

Searching After Loss

Vietnamese and Amerasian babies aboard an Operation Babylift plane to Oakland, April 1975. Source: covvha.net ~Kim Libertini Adopted by two American parents, my identity was shaped by the family that raised me. The physical trait differences between my adopted parents and me were glaring but growing up, it didn’t phase me. I remember my parents … Continue reading Searching After Loss

Showers of Tears

Photo by Florian Pérennès on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini I turned the handle,waited and then reached to feel the water temperature. I stepped in. The task itself felt arduous. Before... it was simple and routine. Who would have thought the simple act of showering in the acute stage of loss would be this taxing. As fast as the warm … Continue reading Showers of Tears