Boundaries are as much about what we keep out as let in. When it comes to grief, we frequently talk about building boundaries to prevent people from being prescriptive about how we grieve, telling us to move on, or threatening our fragile and momentary peace. These limits are important and good mostly as preventative measures … Continue reading Boundaries
I thought my Mom would hang around me after she died. I thought she would appear thick and tangible like a warm fog. I thought she would exist invisible yet present herself through messages and signs. But so many aspects of my mother’s passing are different than imagined, including how she shows up. Mostly she … Continue reading Mom Lives in Me
~Kim Libertini Photo by NASA on Unsplash As the news reports increased and the hurricane storm in the Atlantic assembled, it was clear this storm would be catastrophic. The latest report had it classified as a Category 5, with wind speeds of 157mph or higher and enough intensity to level houses and destroy buildings. People were not just … Continue reading The Cat 5 of Life
Photo by Jacky Lo on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini The cabin doors shut. My two little ones were all buckled in their seats with in-flight entertainment activities at their fingertips. The flight captain had just made his announcement for the cabin crew and passengers to prepare for take-off. I could feel the wheels rumbling as we began to accelerate … Continue reading Taking Off After Loss
At least once a day a friend, colleague, or stranger asks, “How are you?” My normal response is “fine,” or “good,” or any other terse platitude that fills conversation. Today, because I’m feeling raw and brutally honest, I would say “I’m recovering.” Recovering from my last chapter in life and recovering the next one. The … Continue reading Recovering
~Kim Libertini There are some people that always ask the big questions. On this night, as we chatted into the late hours, sipping wine and reflecting on life, she asked,”What do you miss most about him?” I paused. I thought. I miss ….. that moment when he walked in the door at the end of a … Continue reading I Miss
There’s a surreal moment that happens again and again when grieving. It occurs after sleep. Falling asleep is hard enough, and yet waking up feels harder still. That’s when reality comes back into focus. The reality of a life you don’t want. The reality that you’re in free fall. The daunting task of making it … Continue reading Waking Up To Grief
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini When someone we know suffers loss, it is common to ask the question, "How are you doing?" No matter where I was down the grief path, my response was always the same, but the meaning behind the response changed over time. Time Period What I said Acute stage of grief … Continue reading Being Ok Through Grief
On our walk to school this morning, my boys and I crossed paths with a woman smelling of sweet mint. The scent launched me down memory lane. It zoomed past my forties with their dismantling of family and arrival at the unknown. Past the thirties collaged with growing a career and growing babies. It flew … Continue reading Chew On This Memory, Mom
Here’s an unofficial entry for the urban dictionary: BLURSE Definition: Existing as a blessing and curse simultaneously, which could just be another way to describe the human experience. Sentence 1: Grief is a blurse. It helps us appreciate life’s smallest moments because we’ve had large losses. Sentence 2: The blurse of getting older is not … Continue reading Blurse
