My mom was a blonde, standing about 5 foot 5 inches tall with steel blue eyes. Being adopted she and I share no physical traits whatsoever. She’s been gone over 7 years now. The longer she’s gone, the more I see how much, despite the lack of genetics, she influenced the woman and mother I … Continue reading Love Leaves A Mark
Grief changed me. Not just in the obvious ways. Suddenly I own a keen awareness of the power of words, an understanding that a smile doesn’t always reflect happiness and a heightened sensitivity toward others. It’s unfortunate that people miss the way their words can be interpreted. For the most part, I don’t think the … Continue reading Digesting Words After Grief
There is a special dish in my china cabinet that my children know I use when we have company. As I take it from the cabinet shelf and carry it to the kitchen, I can hear my mom’s voice. I think about her while I’m filling the plate with food and her face becomes a … Continue reading Treasures Left Behind
Photo credit: Unsplash.com Along the shores of the South China Sea, where I was conceived by an American GI and a Vietnamese woman, Grit and I would meet for our first time. After being luckily removed in the last hours from Operation Babylift's first flight out of Saigon, which ultimately crashed in a rice paddy and perished … Continue reading Grit, Grief and Me
A while back, Asher, my oldest son who is six years old, asked "Are angels real?" It was a fastball without warning. "I've never seen one," came my unpracticed response that attempted to be honest without limiting or prescribing reality. But, it bothered me. I'd bunted -- whacking the question far enough away to be … Continue reading Friends
Photo credit: John Gibbons Unsplash.com Grief encapsulated me. Like a translucent membrane grief separated me and the outside world.It blurred my perspective, muffled everyday chatter and stole my ability to focus. My life was like an old movie reel. Each frame played without sound as if I was a spectator and not an active participant.I … Continue reading The Turning Point
Photo credit: Unsplash.com “Life comes in waves,” my mom used to say regularly. “Sometimes those waves last years.” She was referring to the crests and troughs of life. The ups. The downs. On the downside, her mantra arose from being an only child who was frequently in trouble. It grew when leaving South Africa with … Continue reading Waves of Life
Photo credit: Hainy Naibo Unsplash.com Grief is like a cup of coffee. In the beginning, it’s painful to hold and difficult to grasp.No matter how you carry it, it spills everywhere leaving a sloppy stained mess for all to see. Some days, it’s bitter and leaves an acidic feeling in your stomach. No matter how … Continue reading Grief Is Like A Cup of Coffee
Photo credit: John Reign Abarintos Unsplash.com Loss left me with a bottomless chasm in my chest. Do you have it too? It begins at the base of my throat and circles down to my ribs. Sometimes it feels like heartburn, an irritation from swallowing a ghastly morsel of life. Other times it more closely resembles … Continue reading The Void
Photo credit: NBC Studios Remember when Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James was released? Women in bookclubs everywhere were openly talking about passionate sex and deep desires. It catapulted a formerly taboo topic into everyday conversations. That’s exactly what the television series ‘This is Us’ has done with grief. Grief isn’t sexy. Most … Continue reading Grief Becomes Mainstream
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