Keeping Time

~Kim Libertini Our life is measured in time from the moment time note’s our birth arrival. I’ve been unfair to time with my expectations of how it should behave constantly oscillating between extremes. Speed up through the work week. Slow down through the weekend. Stop during a moment so I can breathe it in for … Continue reading Keeping Time

Pangs of Grief

~Kim Libertini I have experienced it enough to know when it’s about to happen.  Yet despite the recognizable symptoms, I still can’t stop the inevitable.  First there is the burning in my nose, followed by the welling of tears in my eyes and then the slow escape and steady roll of those tears from my … Continue reading Pangs of Grief

It’s 2a.m.

~Kim Libertini It's 2a.m. My mind racing, I stare at the bedroom ceiling. I make lists. I’m running through options and all possible scenarios, having an argument inside my head. I haven’t slept much with this weighing on me. This is how it works. Unfortunately, this comes with bearing the title sole survivor. When faced … Continue reading It’s 2a.m.

Gains

As I attempted to crawl out from the rubble, I remember looking for support. I looked for the faces of those that I expected would be there. Only to find that I had lost many along the way.  Years later, I understand why and how this happens. Back then, these added losses compounded my grief … Continue reading Gains

Love Leaves A Mark

My mom was a blonde, standing about 5 foot 5 inches tall with steel blue eyes. Being adopted she and I share no physical traits whatsoever.  She’s been gone over 7 years now. The longer she’s gone, the more I see how much, despite the lack of genetics, she influenced the woman and mother I … Continue reading Love Leaves A Mark

Digesting Words After Grief

Grief changed me.  Not just in the obvious ways.  Suddenly I own a keen awareness of the power of words, an understanding that a smile doesn’t always reflect happiness and a heightened sensitivity toward others.  It’s unfortunate that people miss the way their words can be interpreted. For the most part, I don’t think the … Continue reading Digesting Words After Grief

Grit, Grief and Me

Photo credit: Unsplash.com Along the shores of the South China Sea, where I was conceived by an American GI and a Vietnamese woman, Grit and I would meet for our first time. After being luckily removed in the last hours from Operation Babylift's first flight out of Saigon, which ultimately crashed in a rice paddy and perished … Continue reading Grit, Grief and Me

Friends

A while back, Asher, my oldest son who is six years old, asked "Are angels real?" It was a fastball without warning. "I've never seen one," came my unpracticed response that attempted to be honest without limiting or prescribing reality. But, it bothered me. I'd bunted -- whacking the question far enough away to be … Continue reading Friends

The Turning Point

Photo credit: John Gibbons Unsplash.com Grief encapsulated me. Like a translucent membrane grief separated me and the outside world.It blurred my perspective, muffled everyday chatter and stole my ability to focus. My life was like an old movie reel.  Each frame played without sound as if I was a spectator and not an active participant.I … Continue reading The Turning Point

Waves of Life

Photo credit: Unsplash.com “Life comes in waves,” my mom used to say regularly. “Sometimes those waves last years.”  She was referring to the crests and troughs of life. The ups. The downs. On the downside, her mantra arose from being an only child who was frequently in trouble. It grew when leaving South Africa with … Continue reading Waves of Life