~Kim Libertini~ My ears are filled with voices of complaints about everything from preparing food and cleaning to shopping, travel and the guest list. I retract until the sounds of the holiday conversations are muffled. I think to myself, “Just breathe.” Withdrawn and non-participatory, I’m hopeful the conversation will shift from the holiday buzz to … Continue reading Holiday Onset
It was a Wednesday. I’d gone for lunch. Mom’s breathing was different when I returned. Quick shallow gasps had grown long and deep. It was happening. The moment I’d anticipated for 18 months. The moment I hoped would never arrive. The moment I couldn’t bear to miss. “Come now,” I texted my sister. “Mom’s dying.” … Continue reading The Golden Hour
~Kim Libertini Crisp cool air meets the skin on my face. The distinct smell of freshly fallen leaves permeates my nose and I briskly walk to the car to avoid the chill to my spine. My thoughts revert to the sweetness of home. A small town nestled in the Hudson River Valley of New York … Continue reading Mom Memories
Hanging on my office wall is a hand-written proclamation from a dear friend, “As the amount of sh*t increases so must the level of nurturing you need.” It’s a cheeky and brightly illustrated reminder that life is hard. The problems and tasks feel relentless, at times. Holding it all together is exhausting. And, a little … Continue reading Rest Is Best
~Kim Libertini~ It was a casual acknowledgement but one that triggered an epic realization. The woman who said it was only an acquaintance. Walking in a hall, she headed toward me and stopped. “You look good,” she said. “I don’t know what is different about you, but you really look good.” There it was. An … Continue reading The Lookback
My mom lifted her shirt and asked me to look at her ribs. I was on the couch. She sat in her wheelchair. “It hurts,” she said, “Can you see anything?” Leaning closer I searched where her fingers pointed. There was a patch of skin tinted the purple of a fading bruise. Skin I’d known … Continue reading Facing the Grim Reaper
Photo credit @huffpost For this week’s lighter note, it’s not exactly where I planned my life at 43. By the time I was ready to start dating, dating apps were apparently the only way to get a date. So, not wanting to be alone, I went with the lotto slogan: "You've got to be in … Continue reading Dating After Loss: Is this really happening?
The rain came and went in a burst, and yet the creek remained high and frothing from the summer downpour. The normally clear water where people tube all summer long had turned brown and churning. Stuck in the middle of the gushing river was a large rock with water swirling around and over its smooth … Continue reading Rough Times Can Make You Smoother
~Kim Libertini I’m going to hand you my heart, okay? It might be out of friendship or maybe even love. Before I do, I want you to know this. The heart in your hands is tender from deep wounds. On the surface of those wounds are scars, but in reality, those wounds are never truly … Continue reading Handing Over My Heart
You know that moment when you’re raw and hurting, and someone says, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”? You’ve been there. I’ve been there. Hearing those words that suck the air out of a possibly tender exchange. The thing about grief is most people don’t want to go there. That’s why they’ll say you’re … Continue reading Vulnerability is Strength
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