The What-Ifs, Have-Nots and Never-Wills

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash At his memorial service, I wanted to leave those that had come to honor his life, with words that would resonate and offer guidance on how to move forward in a world without him.  “Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the … Continue reading The What-Ifs, Have-Nots and Never-Wills

Recovering

At least once a day a friend, colleague, or stranger asks, “How are you?” My normal response is “fine,” or “good,” or any other terse platitude that fills conversation. Today, because I’m feeling raw and brutally honest, I would say “I’m recovering.” Recovering from my last chapter in life and recovering the next one. The … Continue reading Recovering

I Miss

~Kim Libertini There are some people that always ask the big questions.  On this night, as we chatted into the late hours, sipping wine and reflecting on life, she asked,”What do you miss most about him?” I paused. I thought.  I miss ….. that moment when he walked in the door at the end of a … Continue reading I Miss

Waking Up To Grief

There’s a surreal moment that happens again and again when grieving. It occurs after sleep. Falling asleep is hard enough, and yet waking up feels harder still. That’s when reality comes back into focus. The reality of a life you don’t want. The reality that you’re in free fall. The daunting task of making it … Continue reading Waking Up To Grief

Being Ok Through Grief

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini When someone we know suffers loss, it is common to ask the question, "How are you doing?" No matter where I was down the grief path, my response was always the same, but the meaning behind the response changed over time. Time Period       What I said Acute stage of grief … Continue reading Being Ok Through Grief

Mother and Father-Out-Law

I’m a word nerd. I love the sound of words and how the varying combinations of consonants and vowels have unique and specific meaning. But sometimes English fails me. I’m left scrounging for a concept or word that doesn’t exist. For example, there’s no word to describe sunlight sparkling on the ocean. There’s no word … Continue reading Mother and Father-Out-Law

The End of An Era

Photo by Chang Duong on Unsplash How do I say goodbye? It is an art I haven’t yet mastered. I was never really the sentimental type.  I don’t get overly attached to things or even places for that matter.  But people, relationships, and experiences .... my heart holds a special affinity for those.  How do I say goodbye … Continue reading The End of An Era

A Letter To My Exhausting Children

Dear children, You are exhausting and relentless and I’m eternally grateful for this. Every morning, at least one of you thumps down the hall into my bedroom. You climb in quietly beside me before twisting like a pretzel on spit, your elbows and knees prodding me erratically. Or, you stand next to the bed and … Continue reading A Letter To My Exhausting Children

Bittersweetness

Photo by Ashleigh Robertson on Unsplash ~Kim Libertini It is indescribable when everything about the life you know is shattered by death. My mom had taught me that my life would not be defined by the number of times I was knocked down, but rather how and when I chose to stand back up. Back then, when the … Continue reading Bittersweetness

Chew On This Memory, Mom

On our walk to school this morning, my boys and I crossed paths with a woman smelling of sweet mint. The scent launched me down memory lane. It zoomed past my forties with their dismantling of family and arrival at the unknown. Past the thirties collaged with growing a career and growing babies. It flew … Continue reading Chew On This Memory, Mom