~Kim Libertini Loss triggers the rollout of a thick fog of guilt. That fog sits heavily impairing visibility. Depending on the type of loss and the nature of the relationship, guilt varies. I know this because I grappled with guilt with each successive loss. When I lost my father, I was forced to examine … Continue reading Grappling Guilt and Finding Forgiveness
Cancer Changed Everything
No one wants to get that phone call. My mom had gone to the doctor. They said to bring support. That’s never a good sign. My sister drove her to the appointment and back. Then, they called me with the results: Cancer. It was breast cancer, but it wasn't only in her breasts, it was … Continue reading Cancer Changed Everything
Your Loss, Your Way
~Kim Libertini That day, I was at work. The details of that moment I won’t ever forget. I had just finished teaching a class. The main office had paged me. When I arrived, my then husband was standing there. In the midst of the daily school scurry he delivered the news that my father had … Continue reading Your Loss, Your Way
There was a time when the hardest question was “how are you?” It was the Trojan horse of greetings. People welcomed it into daily conversation where it laid bare my defenseless heart. The worst part is there’s no great answer when you’re not doing so great. Is it better to lie, or cry and make … Continue reading
~Kim Libertini Our life is measured in time from the moment time note’s our birth arrival. I’ve been unfair to time with my expectations of how it should behave constantly oscillating between extremes. Speed up through the work week. Slow down through the weekend. Stop during a moment so I can breathe it in for … Continue reading Keeping Time
Most nights of the week, I tuck my kids into bed, fall asleep for a few minutes next to at least one of them, and then awake to a quiet home. A medley of feelings follows the silence…sweetness, relief and the blues. Sweetness because these boys are my heart. I want to breathe them in … Continue reading
Tree and Me
“Are you crying?” asked Ollie, my four-year-old. “Yes, my sweet boy,” I whispered attempting to control my voice. We had been hiking uphill for about 30 minutes and were approaching our destination: one large ponderosa pine growing just off the trail. A deep feeling of missing surfaced the closer we got. For two decades now, … Continue reading Tree and Me
House or Home?
~Kim Libertini “It’s just a house.” These delivered words, seemed so flippant. When I look back to all the places I have lived, there are a number of dwellings that served the sole purpose of providing me a place to rest my head at night. Those were just a house. As I moved through life, … Continue reading House or Home?
~Kim Libertini It's 2a.m. My mind racing, I stare at the bedroom ceiling. I make lists. I’m running through options and all possible scenarios, having an argument inside my head. I haven’t slept much with this weighing on me. This is how it works. Unfortunately, this comes with bearing the title sole survivor. When faced … Continue reading It’s 2a.m.
Reflection of Failure
~Kim Libertini I remember looking into the mirror and feeling complete and utter failure. As a child, growing up in a divorced household, I swore I would not do what my parents did to me. And there it was, this reflection of a woman that had just filed for divorce. I knew my choice would … Continue reading Reflection of Failure