Most nights of the week, I tuck my kids into bed, fall asleep for a few minutes next to at least one of them, and then awake to a quiet home. A medley of feelings follows the silence…sweetness, relief and the blues. Sweetness because these boys are my heart. I want to breathe them in … Continue reading

Pangs of Grief

~Kim Libertini I have experienced it enough to know when it’s about to happen.  Yet despite the recognizable symptoms, I still can’t stop the inevitable.  First there is the burning in my nose, followed by the welling of tears in my eyes and then the slow escape and steady roll of those tears from my … Continue reading Pangs of Grief

Tree and Me

“Are you crying?” asked Ollie, my four-year-old. “Yes, my sweet boy,” I whispered attempting to control my voice. We had been hiking uphill for about 30 minutes and were approaching our destination: one large ponderosa pine growing just off the trail. A deep feeling of missing surfaced the closer we got. For two decades now, … Continue reading Tree and Me

House or Home?

~Kim Libertini “It’s just a house.” These delivered words, seemed so flippant. When I look back to all the places I have lived, there are a number of dwellings that served the sole purpose of providing me a place to rest my head at night. Those were just a house. As I moved through life, … Continue reading House or Home?

The Heart Yearns for Love

Let’s talk about love. Love, sweet love. Because how can we talk about grief without naming what came first? Love is what got us into this whole mess. It will help lead us out. Love is the cause and the cure, and the warm-beating heart of our humanity no matter what form it takes. There’s … Continue reading The Heart Yearns for Love

It’s 2a.m.

~Kim Libertini It's 2a.m. My mind racing, I stare at the bedroom ceiling. I make lists. I’m running through options and all possible scenarios, having an argument inside my head. I haven’t slept much with this weighing on me. This is how it works. Unfortunately, this comes with bearing the title sole survivor. When faced … Continue reading It’s 2a.m.

Love Is Thicker Than Blood

This is a photo of Charles William Slaughter taken at his birthday party a couple of nights ago. He's the tall one, and he turned 0! Charles is our adopted grandpa. Over the last five years, he became a fixture for ice-cream outings, gardening projects, porch sitting, cartoon binge-watching, and Christmas mornings. Last night we … Continue reading Love Is Thicker Than Blood

Reflection of Failure

~Kim Libertini I remember looking into the mirror and feeling complete and utter failure.  As a child, growing up in a divorced household, I swore I would not do what my parents did to me.  And there it was, this reflection of a woman that had just filed for divorce. I knew my choice would … Continue reading Reflection of Failure

Gains

As I attempted to crawl out from the rubble, I remember looking for support. I looked for the faces of those that I expected would be there. Only to find that I had lost many along the way.  Years later, I understand why and how this happens. Back then, these added losses compounded my grief … Continue reading Gains

Mother’s Day Permission Slip

Oh boy, Mother’s Day is approaching. This holiday can be a doozy. While it allows some people to bask in the warm glow of love, family and lineage, for many others, especially those who have lost a mother, child or spouse, the day feels hard and painful. That's why it’s time to rewrite Mother’s Day. … Continue reading Mother’s Day Permission Slip